Monday, February 14, 2011

glasses / reputation rant

I. Hate. Glasses. That's a bit strong. I dislike glasses. Rather,    i      dislike     glasses.      They make me feel small, like some background character. But,      I.    AM.    LAZY.    (yes, all caps) and glasses are so easy to put on and take off. Sure, different types of glasses exist and offer some style flexibility. But they're all lame. I love my eyes, probably my favorite feature about myself. Glasses rob me of the pleasure of batting my eyelashes. People don't see behind the glasses! I have nice blue eyes. They're kind of an aqua-marine / green type blue. I'm sure there's some fancy name out there to describes my eye color and I'd love to look it up, but again    I.   AM.   LAZY.

So yeah, in the future I see myself breaking down and buying contacts. Maybe even getting eye laser surgery.

But, on the   I.   AM.   LAZY.   front, I'd like to say a few words about reputations. I have to secure an elastic band around my wrist and snap it every time I participate in Tiff-trashing. Honestly, I'm not lazy. Isn't it strange how reputations work? It's like, you belong to a group. In that group, the need arises to have different characters. There's the funny one, the shy one, the awkward one, the promiscuous one, the pragmatic one, etc. If your personality leans in one direction, before you know it, you're the embodiment of that trait. It becomes your *thing. I think I've heard a lot of lazy tiff / frazzled tiff / absent-minded tiff stories in my day. It becomes a self-fulfilled prophecy. I don't really mind, but it can be detrimental to one's sense of self. I wholeheartedly embrace my being absent minded. A bundle of quirk-sticks. It can be endearing. Lazy? That's hardly ever a good thing. I just think I like to make a big deal about my comfort. There's nothing quite like sleeping in, wearing pajamas all day, complete with a big, bulky nan bun on top of your head. (Nan bun, see? My laziness even has it's own terminology.) I like camomile tea, calm, soothing. I like furry slippers. I like a big fat cat on my lap, another resting against my side. Is that a crime?

I should point out that the last 10 months, having a baby and all, you can scratch out the "sleeping in" thing.

Oh, but about the absent minded trait. So I like it, but there have been times when it's been frustrating. When all you know is your position in one social group, or two social groups with a common link, being marked as a personality type can make you feel a bit trapped. Limited, like you can't express your full range of personality. But something amazing happens when you participate in more than one group. I'm talking about having different sets of friends, each set being markedly different from the other. Suddenly, you're not "quirky, absent-minded tiff" but instead "sweet, docile tiff" or "helping hand tiff" or, the worst, "smart tiff." I like being smart, but trust me, when you're in a group and that's your "thing," man, that is one of the most limiting, boring positions to occupy in a group. People think you're no fun. No one wants to crack jokes with you. You're seen as serious, a person whose services are best reserved for "figuring out the answer."

So yeah, I've been in a lot of groups. It's amazing how much you appreciate the labels once they're denied to you. When I'm "smart tiff," I miss making people laugh. When I'm "absent-minded jokester tiff," I miss being taken seriously.

Of course, it's never black or white, but varies with each of the, oh, ten or so groups I socialize with. You can tell who your closest friends are because they allow you to have a range. I don't begrudge anyone for putting me into a category, we all do it. It's just no fun when you do it to yourself. So, I am not lazy.

Something about glasses...?


Sarah said...

I am guilty of pigeonholing you - I can't tell you how many times I have told (and smiled over) particular stories, like when you went into the wrong apartment. But I have similar stories about myself. Anyway, I know what you mean about the Smart Friend. It IS the worst role to have. Constantly worrying over things like, "If I use the word I want to, will everyone give me a blank stare?"

JENNY said...

Some general sense of "roles" is proabably why I fail at being part of groups and instead have a few random friends who are mostly 1 on 1 hangout-y people.